Loneliness is not being able to show the other, the rainbow you noticed in the sky
Loneliness is not having anyone around who share the same values and vision
Loneliness is not having anyone around to have a scintillating conversation with
Loneliness is being unable to add to a conversation
Loneliness is having to be duplicitous, because honesty will be scoffed at
Existential Crisis for the Blog
I wanted to close my blog. Though I’ve been writing (albeit on and off) for twelve years now, I still swing between battling despondency – why write? who bother? who cares? and if what I write is worth the money I spend maintaining the blog? – and an urge to share with the world, what I want to say.
Having a platform to say something creates a sense of self importance, that you, if not others, think it is important for others to hear what you want to say. That sense of self importance sometimes clouds your judgement into thinking you are wiser and knowledgeable than others. That somehow, you can preach to others, because after-all you have a pulpit. You see yourself as a teacher, a wise man, a learned man, a thinking man. It gets to your head – you know better than others. And, it is your obligation to ‘enlighten’ others.
Photography as Meditation
What is Creative Expression? What is Creativity? Why do we wish to create? Can it be taught? Is it an art or science? Can you command it at will? Is being creative important? Should there be space in life for creativity? I’ve been thinking about these questions for sometime now.
I write, that’s how I express myself creatively. But, writing is very cognitive in nature. What I mean to say is, writing involves a lot of thinking about the subject matter, in my case, that subject matter is – Life. And, to me this was THE problem. No matter how much I like to think (this blog after-all is called a A Thinking Man), it was getting too much. I wanted to relieve my mind of thoughts. Sometimes, I just didn’t want to think. I needed my mind to take breaks from thinking from time to time. While alcohol was always an option, I wanted to see if there was any other way.
Beautiful Rain
It was raining heavily in the evening. I sat in the balcony with my notebook in hand. These lines spew out of me onto the paper.
Beautiful rain, you bring-in bounty,
you bring-in relief.
Beautiful rain, you bring in memories
of paper boats and power cuts.
Beautiful rain, you bring nature to the lives that see only concrete.
Beautiful rain, you bring in perspective,
into the lives that are closeted.
Move to Android
Little did I know when I saw it’s launch on TV in my office canteen, that this device was going to change the world. My jaw dropped, as Steve Jobs revealed the iPhone. It was a marvel. I’ll get it one day, I thought. It took another 4 years to get one. But, it was love at first sight and the affair continued for the next 9 years. I was an Apple loyalist.
In these 9 years, I upgraded my phone thrice. From 4 I went to 5, then to 6 Plus and then to 8. Over these transitions, one other aspect also changed – the price of the phone. From 32K to 45K to 61K to 78K. And, if today you want to get the latest and greatest iPhone, it’ll set you back by 1.4 Lakhs in India.
I could no more afford nor justify the cost of a new iPhone. So, I decided to move away from Apple.