Before the internet, information was hard to come by. You needed to know the right person, be at the right place, read the right book/paper. There was no ‘search and find’. Once something was missed, it was likely to stay missed. So, people ‘knew’ less unless they made that effort to be on top of things. But, after internet permeating all walks of life, we are now inundated with information. Many a times, information overload is the problem and not its lack. But, even when so much information is available at our finger tips, some people are astonishingly ill-informed. I wonder why? It could be because they do not give ‘knowledge’ the same importance as someone whose life was affected because of his ignorance. This leads me to a topic that I wanted to cover today – why don’t some people listen to good advice? why don’t they go out looking for it?
That question belies the assumption that what is being offered is ‘good advice’. But, if the recipient does not believe it is ‘good advice’, would he listen? No. But, how would a person who is ‘ignorant’ know if the advice would do him good or not? It is the same situation parents often find themselves in with their children. The parent speaks out of experience. Some children listen, some don’t. Some rebel with reason. Some don’t. Should it mean the parent should stop advising? Should the teacher stop teaching? The answer is yes and no.
Wisdom should be passed on. But, with a clause – the teacher should fully acknowledge that the student might not be ready to receive the insights. Might not understand the insights. Might not care about the insights. Passing over wisdom calls for a lot of detachment. It is the burden of every teacher. It is precisely because of this, that I find books very important. They crystallize the knowledge/wisdom of the teacher. So, if the student is ready, all they need is pick up a book. But, of-course, the student should put in the effort to search for the book. And, when would they? when they ‘really wants to know‘. That is – the student has to be ready.
If that is one step, another one is, what do people understand from the advice? Do they understand what you intended them to? Each advice can be understood at multiple levels. What one understands while listening to it the first time is different from what one understands while reflecting on it later after gaining some experience. We also know that what we understand of life changes with experience; and so does the applicability and meaning of the same advice. It’s meaning changes as you change as a person.
So, if it is the teacher’s responsibility to summarize his understanding and convey a complex truth in simple terms, it is the student’s responsibility to understand it right – just like in any good communication. So, a teacher, unlike popular belief, is only one half of the equation in wisdom transfer. If the person to whom you want to dispense the advice, is not ready to comprehend it, you cannot pass on anything. This is where the teachers or the wise men suffer. They ‘know how’, but cannot course correct their student’s life. Because the student does not necessarily believe their life needs any course correction. So, the teachers/wise men have to let the students fail, fall, knock their head, and fail again. This can make the teacher feel very helpless. It brings forth the realization that wisdom though available, may not make a difference if people to whom it is being given, are unable to realize it as such. It is a lesson in humility.
One another aspect teachers should also think is – how am I being perceived? is what I’m saying being looked at, as wisdom? or, just an opinion? (is their a difference?) To the teachers, whatever they are saying may look like the residue after a rigorous filtering process in a refinery called life – a nugget of truth borne out of experience. But, to the student, it might just look like an opinion. (philosophy is personal, at the end of the day). So, if the student does not value the teacher, value the experiences of the teacher, value the values of the teacher, their words might not be taken seriously. (Sometimes the wise men may even realize how woefully ignorant they were).
Given how difficult it is for a person to help someone, they take to social media to dispense their wisdom. They step on their pulpit of social media and share what they want to, just so hoping that someone would care enough to listen. Good enough. But, it also begs the question – why does the teacher desperately want to advise? Is it because the teacher believes he has discovered something that is genuinely useful to others and so wishes to speak out? Or, is it because they feel since they discovered something, they are ‘better’ than others and so should listen to them and benefit (we’ve all come across such individuals who pester others with their advice even when the other is not giving a damn)? They fail to realize people do not value the same things in life. Or, is it because they are unable to detach themselves from others’ life? That they have a pathological need to play ‘savior’? Hear it would do good for the teachers/wise mean to remember what the Buddha said – “No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.” We need to let go. Being able to let go of the need to advise can be a ultimate test of humility in a teacher.
This is why I believe the greatest teachers/wise men in the history didn’t go out seeking for an audience. They didn’t hustle for an audience to prove their worth. They just were. When someone was ready, they’d search for these teachers or pick up a book they’ve written. The greatest teachers/wise men ‘let go‘. Let go of the attachment to knowledge, and the belief that it will solve all the problems in life. Even when the world is burning, if no one believes it is burning, then would anyone bother correcting it or look for an advice?
So, I think in the end, it boils down to two pieces of advice:
To the students – question your knowledge base and values from time to time. Because as Socrates said, ‘the unexamined life is not worth living’.
To the teachers – let go of the need to advise. Let life takes its course. Just be.
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