‘Memento Mori’. Death has never been so right in front of our face than over the last one year. More so, over the last month in India with Covid ravaging the country. You see news filled with one distress story after another. Your heart goes out to them. You know you are not very different from them. It could’ve easily been you, instead of them. You fear, you have anxiety worrying what will happen if you are stuck with Covid? True, many won’t die (thankfully). But, who lives and who dies is still a roll of dice in the air. So, we all worry. We try to bury ourselves in our work, families and try to keep the anxiety at bay. I’m no exception.
But, what if our number is up? Are we ready to leave? Will we ever be ready to leave?
Morbid as it may seem, I’ve been unable but to think how my death would reflect on my family, friends and acquaintances. How would they react? How long before my wife would move on? How much will my son miss his dad? What would they remember of me? Which of my friends would recollect the times we spent together? What would they remember me for? How soon would they forget? The ephemerality of life is such a jarring realization. We don’t want to ask these questions, because we cannot handle the answers.
We subconsciously avoid bringing-up or discussing any topic that is related to death. We rage against the dying of the light through progeny, quest for legacy and believing in everlasting souls. Why fear when you never ‘truly’ die, right? Religion is an answer to the meaninglessness of life. (Buddha apparently said, believing in an everlasting soul is the last trick the ego plays. Cross that, he says, and you enter nirvana.)
But, unless you had a close brush with death or have seen death of loved ones, we think of death as an abstract concept. We ‘know’, but the knowledge is not yet visceral. We don’t feel it in our body. Our ego (Freudian) does a fine job of keeping the death anxiety at bay. And, if we have our head firmly stuck in the sand, can we ever be ready to die?
Why should one be ready to die? Life tries to hold onto life. It’s biology. And, so one should look for ways to prolong it. Fair enough. But, unless we are deceiving ourselves, we all know with every passing day we are marching towards the grave.
So, when it is time to leave, can we look back with satisfaction, smile and leave? What would it take for us to get there? Death as is known puts our life in perspective. Probably it is the right time to do that, before it is too late. To see life in perspective.
’cause “never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”
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