Scenario 1: Santosh called me after three months. It was nice catching up with him. But, our initial conversation got stuck at a juncture where we both didn’t know what to speak next. It has been three years that Santosh moved to the US. How much can we reminiscence about old times? It took sometime for us to ease back into a conversation. He confided in me that he was missing India. He was recollecting all the simple pleasures of what life offered here. And, all the while I was listening to him, I was wondering how nice it would be if only I could migrate to the United States (it’s been a long unfulfilled dream after all), and enjoy what life offered there.
Oh, if only I was in his shoes!
Scenario 2: Vivek asked “Raj, how is it to be married?” Raj replied, “Marriage is like a room with only one door. The guy inside the room wants to come out, and the guy outside the rooms wants to go in, both are desperate.” We all knew Raj did not have a troublesome marriage, but he lamented that it often took more from him than what it offered back in return. I suspected he wanted ‘out’. But, Vivek’s time was running out (yea, even guys worry about this once they cross 28 years), he was getting desperate. He wanted to be ‘married’. He wanted ‘in’.
Raj said to me, “Oh, if only I was in his shoes!”
Scenario 3: Leslie quit work last year to do volunteer work. He wanted to contribute to the society. Oh, I was so jealous of him. (I’ve been wanting to teach poor kids for quite sometime, but, the attempt never went beyond a few trips to certain colleges.) So, I was surprised to see him back at work after an year. I asked him what happened and he replied that it was not a financially viable option for him and that it was tough for him to struggle to buy even basic necessities. “I couldn’t take it.” he said.
Oh, if only I was in his shoes!
After a few such scenarios repeating in my life, I set out to think: Is it so? Is the grass really green on the other side?
All of us at one time or the other would’ve wanted to be in the other’s shoes. A colleague’s promotion, neighbour’s car, friend’s new apartment all seem to be better than ours. Even cows (according to a humourous article I read online) aren’t exempted from this. Apparently, after being left in a field of green grass, cows could be found trying to push their nose through a barbed wire at the end of the field trying to get to the “grass on the other side” – to get a bite of the forbidden grass (which looks tastier to them). Insecurity that we may not have the best yet, and it is out there somewhere is what feeds this “green grass syndrome”. As long as we think what we want is better than what we have, we’ll never be happy and will always be curious about ‘what’s out there’. So, the first step in making our lives better is to appreciate what we have & to believe we have the best. But, sometimes, we may really not have the best with us. In those cases, I think we all will benefit from a line from Justin Beiber: “But the grass ain’t always greener on the other side, It’s green where you water it.” What are we doing to get the best? How are we bridging the gap between where we are and where we want to be? How are we creating the life we want? How are we, at the present moment taking small steps towards the goal? What are we doing to create greener pastures on our side of the river?
Very true ra, the reason for that is the incompleteness in our souls, and we are the reason for it.
One day when we learn to make merry with what we have and learn to share what we’ve got, I’m sure we’ll wipe that vacuum from our souls!! And thats the starting point for us to feel content with what we have.