What we believe-in, what we are, what we do, what we love, what we feel when we are alone form our character. However, for various reason, we may not showcase our likes/dislikes before others. Our desire to fit-in, to gel well, to be accepted by others pushes us to feign interest in stuff we don’t like or hate what we like – often projecting a different persona by wearing a mask over our true character and show others a different ‘us’ altogether. But, the less the gap between our personality and character, the less we have to lie & deceive and the more at peace and less in conflict with ourselves. The more the gap, the more the chances for a split personality disorder (pun intended). But, the fact remains that we all have a character and personality and sometimes, they are at odd with each other.
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Lost Perspective
Santosh, a friend of mine, sent me an email a couple of days ago. I altered it a little (to fit the blog) but ensured the message was not lost in translation. The email:
The demise of one of my colleagues, whom I just saw yesterday evoked a fear as only death can and pushed me to think of what really matters to me in life? I went to the office in the morning, unaware of Maggie passing away, but when I saw tulips on her keyboard, I was taken aback. I wasn’t sure whether I was sad that she passed away or that it reminded me of my own mortality.
Keep it Simple
I’ve been a hoarder all my life. Born out of insecurity, I wanted to stock all the stuff I wanted to. This, “What if I don’t have money tomorrow? Let me buy all I need to survive in this apocalyptic world” insecurity has been the driver to my consumption. New book? Buy it (even though I have 20 others to read), new CD? Buy it (before it goes out of stock), New clothes? Buy them. I piled, piled & piled stuff away. Then, came the problem of organizing and maintaining. CDs needed stands & pouches, clothes needed cupboards and so did all the other stuff I was buying. Then CDs gave way to DVDs which gave way to Blurays; Books to Kindle ebooks; Old clothes to new. Now, when I enter my room I find a CD I did not listen to, a book did not read, a shirt/trouser I did not use – all unmet commitments, not to mention clutter. But, fuelled by consumer culture (more is good) and lured by sexy advertisements I continued buying more. ’Till I took over more responsibilities.
You are not Special
Silence, Essentials & Peace
Some unedited thoughts:-
Silence has become too hard to find. Too many thoughts these days. Mind always wavering. Just want to tune it off and go blank. Too much of everything I guess. Need to cull a lot out of life. Only the essential to be left. I liked when Harold gives away everything in his pilgrimage and walks with nothing but the minimum to get by never even packing food for the next day (from the book ‘The unexpected pilgrimage of Harold Fry’) . There’s a lot of baggage we carry with us. There’s some reason too – that baggage gives us identity. We identify ourselves with it – what are we without it we say to ourselves. But, every step we take adds only more baggage. Every step becomes laborious.