Sai, Author at A Thinking Man

Head Down

October 22, 2017 Filed Under: Personal

I don’t want to advise. I wrote that in my previous post. The depth of my own ignorance astounded me. When you realise there’s hardly anything in your life that you control, that after all the knowledge gathering, thinking & experience, you’d be a bit better, but to then realize you are still clueless about how to live one day without feeling empty & broken, is just disappointing beyond measure.

I recently went through a couple of journal entries that I wrote 4 years back. The issues that plagued me then, are the same that plague me today. Funny, I’m where I was 4 years ago. This just adds to the disappointing aspects of life.

But, you still need to wade through. Live through, till the end comes calling, right? But, how?

[Read more…]

Ramblings

August 26, 2017 Filed Under: Personal

Output on the blog has slowed to a trickle. I don’t feel capable of giving advice. I haven’t figured it out. In fact, the depth of what I don’t know has me so overwhelmed that I’m wondering if I should open my mouth at all. When I read old posts like ‘dealing with depression’ I cringe. If it was so easy as I laid it out, why am I still so depressed? No. Life is not so simple. Sometimes band-aids may work but many a times intense soul-searching is needed. The last 1.5 years, have been tough on me. I had seen worse, but, was still not prepared for this. After one glass palace crumbled, I started questioning a lot I took for granted to check for other weaknesses. When you operate from a base, you are safe, you can question other aspects, but are still on solid ground. But, if you are questioning your base then it’ll lead to a lot of insecurity and low confidence. Some ideas I’ve been mulling over the last few months:

[Read more…]

Keeping Quiet

July 23, 2017 Filed Under: Philosophy

Now we will count to twelve
and we will all keep still.

For once on the face of the earth,
let’s not speak in any language;
let’s stop for one second,
and not move our arms so much.

[Read more…]

A walk in the Woods

June 20, 2017 Filed Under: Personal

Around a year back I bought a Fitbit for my wife which unfortunately was not as appealing to her as it was to me. It got left behind in the cupboard more often than I would like to. So, one fine day, I decided to use it for myself. I had been contemplating on going out for daily walks for quite sometime, but hadn’t started it yet. Using the Fitbit as motivation, I decided to get my lazy ass off the bed everyday morning. But, walks to me were a way of connecting to nature than mere physical exercise. So, my eyes fell on the ‘police line’, rife with greenery, right beside my apartment.

[Read more…]

The Invitation

May 12, 2017 Filed Under: Personal

It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.

[Read more…]